I took the day off from work today after waking up around 3am with a sore throat and sinus headache that kept me gazing at the ceiling for hours. Eventually around 5am I picked up my blackberry, emailed-in sick, popped two Tylenol PM and plopped back into bed for a restful, drug-induced sleep. Flash-forward to 10am and I'm awake, stalling from calling in to my office and wondering "am I really sick like *cough, cough* sick, or could I merely be exhausted?"
Work has literally been kicking my ass over the past few months and I fear the non-stop 8am-thru-7pm schedule I've been keeping may be catching up with me. Problem is, I don't know really how to tear myself away from it. To me, an idle mind means rampant opportunity to wallow in self-pity at my failure as a fertile female and fuck, I've been getting plenty of time to do that during waiting-room downtime at my Doctor's office as I've been going in and out for blood work.
Speaking of blood work, we're all done with that now. Just waiting on results and then (oh joy), I get to do the sono-hysterogram. My crazy-mother's best advise to me on all this is that I should just hold off on all this medical-tra-la-la and put my faith into the hands of "The Infant Baby Jesus". How I came out of that woman's womb astonishes me but I have taken her little amulet and put it on my keychain since I like the way it jingles when it bounces around on all the other mojos I have on there.
In other news my fuck-head superintendent just called to announce that he has given away the 2-bedroom apartment I have been waiting on to another couple that has been living in the building for a longer time than we have which means we now have to move.
I just can't seem to get a break.
Later on this day....
It's now 12:30pm and June 21st is rapidly rising the ranks on my "Suckiest-Days-Ever" list with bad news after bad news trickling in slowly through my cell phone, the most recent being just a little more near and dear to all of our hearts : I have just received a call that my friend Jill who is 36 and has been trying to get pregnant for almost 2 years has been hiding a secret pregnancy which she now seems to be losing at 2 months.
Jill is one of those uber-spiritual gals who love her as I do, annoys the hell out me with her religious mind trips against IVF. The interesting part of her argument is that she isn't overly bothered about the possibility of having to do a reduction due to IVF but is instead hung up over the thought of what she would do with the harvested eggs that she perhaps may not end up fertilizing.
Do you see why this infuriates me.
In my (perhaps damned) mind, it's just an egg, and the fact that is hasn't been fertilized should be a good thing no? I mean, it would've just ended up on a tampon anyways right? I say if you really feel the need, bless it and bury it... shit I think she could probably even donate the damn thing couldn't she?
But no, Jill has decided that IVF defies all of her religious beliefs due to egg-abandonment and refuses to undergo the procedure. Meanwhile, the clocks keep ticking, and now this.
I'm concerned about her. Jill has been an emotional mishmash of a woman over the past few years and while I think it's great that she now knows she can get pregnant, I fear our chances of talking her into IVF have now greatly depreciated due to this pregnancy, and who knows how long it'll take her to conceive again.
It seems the minute we think we're up, life turns around and issues a swift kick right in the ass, lest we get too caught up in our good fortune.
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marți, 1 februarie 2011
People just don't GET me
So looks like I've got an NC-17 rating on my blog based on my excessive use of the following words...
- Shit (5x)
- Crack (3x)
- Whore (2x)
- Breast (1x)
I may have to do something about that.
Party of 3...wait no, 4
I feel like I've abandoned my blog recently which is a surprisingly horrible feeling now that I've been religiously banging away at my keyboard for 6 months... wow, has it really been that long! It's funny how upset I get now when I don't have the time to come pour my thoughts out into cyberspace. This whole journal thing really has become an bizarre form of therapy for me in more than just my reproductive / un-reproductive life. I literally dream of writing when I can't. So I'm sure you understand that my recent sojourn hasn't been for a lack of wanting to speak... au contraire, speak is what I want and want I do best, but my life recently has become all about entertaining those I would rather not have to entertain.
Let me explain....
Now that the summer months are here "Dad's" business (construction) has literally blown up on itself to the point that he can barely find qualified workmen fast enough to keep up with the volume of work that keeps streaming in his door. For obvious reasons this is a great thing but the problem herein lies that in order to keep pace, "Dad's" had to bring a friend of his in from DC to live with us and supervise overflow of projects. To make sure that I am expressing myself clearly I feel the need to emphasize that by "live with us" I mean "crash on our couch". Come on, this IS still NYC and lest we all forget that I got duped out of our promised 2 bedroom apartment last week so we're still bunking up in our one'r.
So for the last week and a half my lovely little life of me and "Dad" has now turned into "Dad", me and Dupree... the guy on the couch.
I must admit that I've been quite proud of myself and my alarming patience with this situation since those who know me know I don't "room" well with others. I realize that this is important for "Dad's" business and for that reason and that reason alone I have yet to throw a full on hissy fit. But as time ticks by and the clutter of a crowded apartment starts keeling in on me, I'm starting to notice that my patience is running thin.
You see, this weekend Dupree's girlfriend turned up.
So now, it's "Dad," me, Dupree, and Dupree's Russian girlfriend -- who has decided she'd like to stay another 5 days but who refuses to help wash a dish or contribute in any way whatsoever to the upkeep of a tiny apartment with 4 people and 2 dogs.
Added to all of this, Dupree and (let's call her Nas-tashia -- pronounce with thickest, most drawled out Russian accent possible) also expect that we entertain them which means dinners, drinks, shopping, site seeing, the works. So needless to say that on this Monday morning I am full-on E.X.H.A.U.S.T.ED right about now.
But because I love my man and I know that this boom in his business is seasonal I keep my mouth shut. I have asked him to send Dupree back to DC this weekend with Nas-tashia since I have a friend coming in from out of town who I'd prefer to not have to force to sleep with the dogs, so luckily we'll have a weekend off from those two but it really feels like the constant influx of house guests just isn't ending. Though don't get me wrong... my house guest this weekend is "Dr. Far-Away-But-Fabulous" who I am thrilled to be having come visit me.
I'll take any of my girls over Dupree + Nas-tashia any day of the week!
Let me explain....
Now that the summer months are here "Dad's" business (construction) has literally blown up on itself to the point that he can barely find qualified workmen fast enough to keep up with the volume of work that keeps streaming in his door. For obvious reasons this is a great thing but the problem herein lies that in order to keep pace, "Dad's" had to bring a friend of his in from DC to live with us and supervise overflow of projects. To make sure that I am expressing myself clearly I feel the need to emphasize that by "live with us" I mean "crash on our couch". Come on, this IS still NYC and lest we all forget that I got duped out of our promised 2 bedroom apartment last week so we're still bunking up in our one'r.
So for the last week and a half my lovely little life of me and "Dad" has now turned into "Dad", me and Dupree... the guy on the couch.
I must admit that I've been quite proud of myself and my alarming patience with this situation since those who know me know I don't "room" well with others. I realize that this is important for "Dad's" business and for that reason and that reason alone I have yet to throw a full on hissy fit. But as time ticks by and the clutter of a crowded apartment starts keeling in on me, I'm starting to notice that my patience is running thin.
You see, this weekend Dupree's girlfriend turned up.
So now, it's "Dad," me, Dupree, and Dupree's Russian girlfriend -- who has decided she'd like to stay another 5 days but who refuses to help wash a dish or contribute in any way whatsoever to the upkeep of a tiny apartment with 4 people and 2 dogs.
Added to all of this, Dupree and (let's call her Nas-tashia -- pronounce with thickest, most drawled out Russian accent possible) also expect that we entertain them which means dinners, drinks, shopping, site seeing, the works. So needless to say that on this Monday morning I am full-on E.X.H.A.U.S.T.ED right about now.
But because I love my man and I know that this boom in his business is seasonal I keep my mouth shut. I have asked him to send Dupree back to DC this weekend with Nas-tashia since I have a friend coming in from out of town who I'd prefer to not have to force to sleep with the dogs, so luckily we'll have a weekend off from those two but it really feels like the constant influx of house guests just isn't ending. Though don't get me wrong... my house guest this weekend is "Dr. Far-Away-But-Fabulous" who I am thrilled to be having come visit me.
I'll take any of my girls over Dupree + Nas-tashia any day of the week!
Jackpot
In honor of today's rare (and potentially lucky) 07.07.07 date I thought I'd share some interesting 7's facts with you ladies.....
Not only is 7-7-7 the top slot machine jackpot but it also adds up to 21 in Black Jack. There are 7 days of the week, 7 colors in a rainbow, 7 ancient metals, 7 wonders of the world, 7 planets that can be seen with the naked eye, 7 notes in the traditional musical scale, 7 days of creation in the Bible, and 7 Wonders of the World.
The number seems to carry religious symbolism too. Not only did God create the world in six days and rest on the seventh but Catholics also celebrate seven sacraments and seven virtues. In Jewish weddings the bride circles the groom seven times and the couple has seven days of festive meals. Did I mention that a menorah has 7 candelabras?
In almost every system of antiquity there are also frequent references to the number seven. There were for instance seven ancient planets, the sun being the greatest planet and next to the sun, the moon, changing in all its splendor every seventh day.
The Arabians had seven Holy Temples and in Persian mysteries there were seven spacious caverns through which the aspirants had to pass. The Goths had seven deities, as did the Romans, from whose names are derived our days of the week.
So one can only conclude that this day, which comes only once in a lifetime MUST be a significant and possibly serendipitous day.
Perhaps I'll go buy some scratch tickets... just in case.
Oh, and I think that those of you not currently benched by your Doctors should definitely get to bumpin' uglies today.
Do it for me... come on, take one for the team.
Not only is 7-7-7 the top slot machine jackpot but it also adds up to 21 in Black Jack. There are 7 days of the week, 7 colors in a rainbow, 7 ancient metals, 7 wonders of the world, 7 planets that can be seen with the naked eye, 7 notes in the traditional musical scale, 7 days of creation in the Bible, and 7 Wonders of the World.
The number seems to carry religious symbolism too. Not only did God create the world in six days and rest on the seventh but Catholics also celebrate seven sacraments and seven virtues. In Jewish weddings the bride circles the groom seven times and the couple has seven days of festive meals. Did I mention that a menorah has 7 candelabras?
In almost every system of antiquity there are also frequent references to the number seven. There were for instance seven ancient planets, the sun being the greatest planet and next to the sun, the moon, changing in all its splendor every seventh day.
The Arabians had seven Holy Temples and in Persian mysteries there were seven spacious caverns through which the aspirants had to pass. The Goths had seven deities, as did the Romans, from whose names are derived our days of the week.
So one can only conclude that this day, which comes only once in a lifetime MUST be a significant and possibly serendipitous day.
Perhaps I'll go buy some scratch tickets... just in case.
Oh, and I think that those of you not currently benched by your Doctors should definitely get to bumpin' uglies today.
Do it for me... come on, take one for the team.
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